Rav Dovid Lessin
Post-Chag: Internal Motivation
As we say goodbye to the yerach ha’eitanim, the month of chagim, we must ask ourselves how to carry the inspiration of the Yamim Nora’im with us into the long and cold winter months that lay ahead. The Slonimer Rebbe writes that the pasuk “isru chag b’avotim”, can be interpreted to mean that one must bind the chag to himself with ropes, so strong must be the resolve to not let go of what we have gained spiritually these last few weeks. What steps can we take to do that?
Despite the uplifting nature of the Yamim Nora’im, this time period also carries a potential danger. After a prolonged period of being inspired from the environment - the call of the shofar, the power of uplifting tefilot, the excitement of preparing for Sukkot, and the joy of the Simchat Beit HaSho’eva - one can lose touch with the ability to motivate himself from within. Reliance upon external sources of inspiration can potentially produce a form of dependency on being driven from without instead of from within.
As we say goodbye to the yerach ha’eitanim, the month of chagim, we must ask ourselves how to carry the inspiration of the Yamim Nora’im with us into the long and cold winter months that lay ahead. The Slonimer Rebbe writes that the pasuk “isru chag b’avotim”, can be interpreted to mean that one must bind the chag to himself with ropes, so strong must be the resolve to not let go of what we have gained spiritually these last few weeks. What steps can we take to do that?
Despite the uplifting nature of the Yamim Nora’im, this time period also carries a potential danger. After a prolonged period of being inspired from the environment - the call of the shofar, the power of uplifting tefilot, the excitement of preparing for Sukkot, and the joy of the Simchat Beit HaSho’eva - one can lose touch with the ability to motivate himself from within. Reliance upon external sources of inspiration can potentially produce a form of dependency on being driven from without instead of from within.
Psychologists studied this phenomenon as early as 60 years ago, and coined the term “external locus of control” to describe a person who depends upon outside factors in order to feel that things are ok. Such a person’s attitude is that happiness and success can only happen if the environment is set up in a particular way. He is essentially a victim of his circumstances, not possessing very much ability to change things for the better. By contrast, one with an “internal locus of control” believes that he is able to act upon the current situation and make it better no matter what the circumstances are. He sees himself as responsible for his own happiness and success, regardless of what happens around him. In the words of Victor Frankl, “Everything can be taken from us but the last of human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” The Alter of Kelm made this point as well when he stated, “The happy person does not leave his happiness [to be affected] by any matter that stands against him.” The gemara in Avodah Zara 17b also drives this point home in its famous story of Rav Elazar ben Dordaya, who turned to every possible source in nature to save him from his fate, until he finally realized that the only one truly responsible for his situation was he alone. After arriving at this ultimate realization, he uttered the well-know phrase, “ein hadavar talui ela bi,” that the matter is dependent only upon me.
As we prepare for the holiday-less month of Cheshvan, perhaps we should think of how to move the locus of control for our happiness and success into ourselves, so that we do not remain dependent on anything or anyone else to push us towards what we can accomplish. It is not anyone else’s job nor responsibility to motivate us; we must find a way to do that from within. We all need help from each other, but not as a replacement for what Hashem expects us to do for ourselves. We each have the opportunity to become the drivers of our own future.
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